It's been brought to my attention that people are actually looking at this page. I was creating a template and I haphazardly threw this together. I wrote some stream of consciousness text as a place holder. I've decided to keep it here temporarily as an example of my vanity and sense of self-importance. If this bogus web-page gets any attention, I'll figure out how to sell merch.
Off the the Heezy
in Trump's America
The Sad Story of a
Non-Actor Off the Heezy
At Cinema Wasteland, October 2018, film-maker, Jim Roberts shot a scene for his upcoming feature-length motion picture. In a fit of typecasting, Glen Coburn was offered the role of a serial killer. He gladly accepted. As a method actors, he revealed his true horribleness. Jim is grateful that he himself was not murdered.
This was not the first time that the film-maker had a brush with death. During the filming of his first feature, he made the mistake of using actual zombies to play the part of fictional zombies. Sometimes realism is too realistic even for a dedicated directer obsessed with making art . He often does so at his own peril.
This is the last time Jim will work with someone as mentally disturbed as Glen Coburn. It has been reported that he was off his meds and his behavior was disturbing to everyone. He will not be invited back to Cinema Wasteland.
The Sad Story of a Hack
Film-maker Off the Heezy
Admitted non-actor, Glen Coburn plays a drugged-out research scientist in his own film, Bloodsucker From Outer Space. His marginally competent performance was one of the best in the movie, which is not saying much.
Bloodsuckers from Outer Space is a 1984 American science fiction black comedy horror film written and directed by Glen Coburn. It stars Thom Meyers, Dennis Letts, Laura Ellis, Robert Bradeen, Glen Coburn, Kris Nicolau, and Pat Paulsen as Texas residents who must battle a mist that turns people into zombies.
Texas farmers turn into zombies when they become infected by an energy field from outer space. The residents must escape before an overeager general can convince the President to drop a nuclear bomb on the rural town.
The Sad Story of Another Pathetic Loser
In 1992, failed film-maker cast himself as a ghost in his ill fated film venture, Among the Dead. Hailed by movie credits around the world as a colossal stink bomb, the work of unparalleled terribleness was never released to the public. Long rumored to be lost in a grease fire, Louis Justin stumbled across the negative and nearly broke his neck. He hates people and was fascinated with the idea of inflicting punishment on as many people as possible.
Set in the late 1980's, Hollywood Deadbeat follows the path of the ultimate loser whose desire to become a movie-maker may far outweigh his actual talent. As he reluctantly realizes that success is not just around the corner, he hits the bottle harder and harder and swiftly loses track of reality. Even as his wave of self-destruction reigns down on all who cross his path, those closest to him try desperately to help pull him back from the brink of disaster. Can he dry out long enough to get a grip and see that there's more to life than his unrealistic dreams? Or will the lure of fame and glamor in his Hollywood fantasy-land draw him deeper and deeper to the point of no return?
Noted Hair God Goes
Off the Heezy
Glen Coburn is best known a the man who is largely concerned only about his own hair. At the expense of all who love him, he pursues a selfish life of searching for the next hair-dresser who can satisfy his lust for his hairstyle.
As a child, he was given a bad haircut by a hack barber who nicked his left ear. Coburn was so traumatized that his only hope for fulfillment in adulthood was to get good haircuts. As he grows older, he finds it more and more difficult to get a hairstylist to take him seriously. He has the exact amount of hair but is not taken seriously.
Noted Hair God
Meets Timothy Leary
In between getting good haircuts, Glen Coburn decided to hang-out with Timothy Leary. Tim remarked on Glen's haircut in a favorable way and said he wished he had such a good hairstyle. Glen was taken in by such praise and offered Tim a Menthol cigarette. As fate would have it, they both smoked the same brand and both loved menthol.
The friendship lasted only as long as it took for Glen to run out of cigarettes. This was proof that Tim was not the friendly man he professed to be
Timothy Leary Drove Noted Hair God Off the Heezy
Finally Glen Coburn realized that Tim Leary was not what he was cracked up to be. But in true Coburn style, he shrugged it off as unimportant. The thing he valued more than a friendship with an acid-head was a good hairstyle.
This is likely not the last time, we'll hear from the hair-obsessed man. No longer young, he's comforted by the fact that he still has a full head of hair. Now, if he can only find a good hairstylist, his life will be complete.
Unrelated Vanity Photo
Thanks to Rob Hauschild, Glen Coburn is an Action Figure